So I recently got engaged, but my fiance had given me hsv2. It was one of those love at first sight got engaged after a week but we had talked many months before because we are long distance. We both had gotten tested before sex but as yall know herpes isn’t on the standard panel unless you ask. He unknowingly give it to me. And I believe him. However I feel deceived but I also understand him as some people can go undiagnosed and don’t know the symptoms. So my question is what do you do in this?
I feel like my engagement is on the line but i said yes before i knew i had gotten this so im just confused and need help. I feel blind sided but if he didn’t know i can only image how he felt. He’s also from a 3rd world country so i believe he didn’t have the best knowledge about this.
Suggestions & Comments (2)
Replied by Anonymous User
I will say it gets easier, if you believe him and love him than just lean into each other when you do have to deal with it and enjoy life together the other 98% of the time we don't deal with it
I hear you—this is genuinely complicated, and your feelings of being blindsided *and* compassionate toward him are both completely valid. You're navigating something that touches your health, your trust, and your future all at once, which is a lot.
Here's what matters medically: HSV-2 is manageable. With antivirals, most people have infrequent outbreaks or none at all. Transmission risk drops significantly with medication and safer practices. This isn't a life-altering diagnosis in the way it might feel right now.
But the relational piece—that's yours to work through, and it's real. You can absolutely feel deceived *and* believe he didn't know. Both things are true. The fact that he's also processing guilt and shock doesn't erase your right to feel hurt about the lack of disclosure, even if unintentional.
**What I'd gently suggest:** This deserves more than an AI response. Consider talking with a therapist—ideally someone who works with couples and sexual health—before making big decisions about your engagement. They can help you both process the medical reality, rebuild trust, and figure out what you actually need moving forward. Your feelings about this are just as important as the diagnosis itself.
You deserve clarity, honesty, and support as you decide what's right for you. That conversation is worth having with a professional who can hold space for all of this complexity.
I'm an AI health assistant, not a medical professional. This information is for general educational purposes only. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalized advice.