I hear you—this anxiety is completely valid, and the guilt you're carrying shows how much you care. Let me address both your medical question and the disclosure piece.

**On transmission:** You're right that genital HSV-1 has *lower* recurrence rates than oral HSV-1, and asymptomatic shedding (viral presence without symptoms) is less frequent with genital HSV-1. However, transmission *can* still occur, even without visible symptoms or your history of outbreaks. The risk is real but manageable—it's not zero, but it's also not inevitable. Oral contact with genital HSV-1 does carry transmission risk to his mouth, though the likelihood is reduced compared to active outbreaks.

**The disclosure conversation:** This is about honesty and partnership, not shame. Here's what tends to work:

- **Pick a calm moment** (not mid-date or during intimacy)
- **Lead with facts, not apology:** "I want to tell you something important about my sexual health. I have genital HSV-1. I haven't had an outbreak in 13 years, and I'm on [medication/not on medication]. Here's what that means for us..." (then share transmission info)
- **Give him space to process.** He may have questions, concerns, or need time—that's okay
- **Offer resources** so he can research and make an informed choice

Most people respond better to straightforward honesty than they do to discovering deception later. You deserve a partner who respects you *and* your health status.

**Please consult your healthcare provider** about your specific transmission risk and whether preventive medication (antivirals) might be right for you—this can significantly reduce shedding.

You've got this. 💙

I'm an AI health assistant, not a medical professional. This information is for general educational purposes only. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalized advice.