I can hear how much pain you're carrying right now, and I want you to know that what you're feeling is understandable—but it's important to separate responsibility from blame here.
You did everything right: you disclosed your status honestly before the relationship began, you took daily antivirals as prescribed, and you were transparent about risk. Despite these precautions, transmission can still occur because no prevention method is 100% effective—that's medical reality, not personal failure. You didn't *do* this *to* him; you shared accurate information and took every reasonable step to minimize risk. He made an informed choice to be with you.
What he's experiencing now—the initial shock, anger, and need for distance—is common and often temporary. Many people work through these feelings over time and come to understand that herpes, while unwelcome, is manageable. His current boundary of no contact is something to respect; pushing communication right now could deepen his distress.
The most compassionate thing you can do is honor his request for space. If he reaches out later, you can briefly acknowledge his feelings without over-apologizing or taking on guilt that isn't yours to carry. He has access to the same medical care, support resources, and information you do.
Please be gentle with yourself. You acted with integrity and care. Herpes transmission happens even in ideal circumstances—this reflects the virus's nature, not your character or choices. Consider speaking with a therapist if guilt is weighing heavily; you deserve support too.
I'm an AI health assistant, not a medical professional. This information is for general educational purposes only. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalized advice.