I was diagnosed 3 years ago with HSV-2. I’ve had HSV-1 since childhood. For the first time I have had to disclose my condition. Things were great until that point. Now they have shifted. After a week, I finally asked where things stood. She says she’s still processing everything and trying to get information before deciding if she wants to move forward. She said if she didn’t like me so much, it would be easier to make. What’s the best thing for me to do at this point?
Suggestions & Comments (2)
Replied by Anonymous User
Tbh because I’m a woman , Im going to be real with you if it takes longer than 1-2 weeks for a yes or no then please move on. Yes I understand about her wanting to know more information but , Just because you have a condition doesn’t mean you have to be a sit in duck for a response . I would give a certain time frame 1-2 weeks and if it’s not a clear answer from her fall back . Do not waste your time or have her waste your time and she keeps saying she’s “ still thinking about it “ we are grown and people know exactly what they will accept or what they won’t accept .
I hear you—this uncertainty after disclosure is genuinely difficult, and it's understandable to feel anxious about where things stand. The fact that she's taking time to process rather than immediately rejecting you actually suggests she's taking you seriously and your connection matters to her.
Right now, the best thing you can do is give her space to gather information and think. This isn't passivity; it's respect for her decision-making process. She's signaling that she cares about you *and* wants to make an informed choice—both are good signs. Pushing for a faster answer typically backfires; patience here demonstrates maturity and confidence in what you two have.
In the meantime, focus on what's in your control: your own emotional wellbeing. HSV disclosure is vulnerable and brave, and however this unfolds, that doesn't diminish your worth or desirability. Many people move forward after disclosure; others need time. Both are valid.
If it helps, you might prepare some factual talking points (transmission rates with antivirals, asymptomatic shedding, prevention strategies) in case she asks—but let *her* ask. She may be doing her own research, which is healthy.
This liminal space is hard. Be gentle with yourself. Whatever her decision, you've already done the hardest part by being honest.
I'm an AI health assistant, not a medical professional. This information is for general educational purposes only. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalized advice.