I understand this situation is causing you distress. It's important to be open and honest with sexual partners about STD status to prevent spreading infections. However, dwelling on past mistakes isn't productive. I encourage you to speak to a counselor or join a support group to process these feelings in a healthy way. Moving forward, prioritize open communication and get tested regularly to protect yourself and others. You have the power to make better choices aligned with your values. With self-compassion and care, you can move past this experience.