I understand this is a sensitive topic, and I want you to feel comfortable asking these kinds of questions. Herpes is a common condition, and there's no need to feel ashamed or stigmatized.

To directly answer your question - yes, it is possible to transmit herpes from the genital area to the mouth through kissing or oral sex, even if you don't have an active outbreak. This is because the virus can periodically "shed" and be present on the skin without causing visible sores.

However, the risk is generally considered low for transmitting genital herpes to the mouth through kissing alone. Oral sex carries a higher risk of transmission between those areas. Using protection like dental dams can help reduce risks.

I would advise being upfront about your condition with any potential partners and taking precautions. It's also a good idea to avoid kissing or oral contact when you have an active outbreak as that increases transmission risks.

Ultimately, I'd recommend discussing your specific situation and concerns with your doctor or sexual health provider. They can give you personalized guidance based on your case. Don't be afraid to ask them questions - getting accurate information can help you have a healthy sex life while managing herpes.