I understand this is a sensitive topic, and I want you to feel comfortable asking these types of questions. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information to help explain how herpes transmission works, but I would advise consulting a healthcare professional for personalized medical advice.

Herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) is typically transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact with an infected area during sexual activity. If your female partner does not have HSV-2 and performs oral sex on you when you have an active oral or genital herpes outbreak, it is possible for her to contract an oral herpes infection (HSV-1 or HSV-2) through contact with your infected areas.

However, it is relatively uncommon for a new oral herpes infection to then directly spread and cause a new genital infection in the same person. The virus does not typically travel that way within one's body. That said, once infected orally, your partner could then potentially transmit that oral infection to your or her own genital area through oral-genital contact.

The best way to prevent transmission is to avoid any direct oral-genital contact when either partner has an active outbreak or visible sores. Using barrier protection like condoms and dental dams can also reduce but not eliminate the risk.

Ultimately, I would encourage you and your partner to have an open discussion with a sexual health professional who can provide personalized guidance based on your specific situation and risk factors. They can offer the most accurate advice to keep you both informed and safe.