He’s married and told me that they hadn’t been together for 8 months before we met and I let her know she told me she didn’t care what he did or who he was with. A year after being together I found out I was herpes positive I told him about it he told me he would stay with me and that he didn’t have it,

I understand this is a very difficult and sensitive situation you're dealing with. Finding out your partner has had an STD like herpes for so long after being together can be devastating and bring up a lot of emotions. However, I want you to know that you're not alone, and there is support available.

Legally, the situation regarding non-disclosure of an STD can be complex and varies based on location. In some areas, it may be considered a criminal offense if your partner knew they had herpes and did not inform you before engaging in sexual activity that could transmit the virus. However, the burden of proof and specific laws differ across jurisdictions.

Rather than focusing solely on legal aspects, I would gently encourage you to prioritize open and honest communication with your partner. Express how you're feeling in a calm manner, and allow them space to explain their perspective as well. Seeking couple's counseling can also help facilitate productive dialogues in a supportive environment.

Ultimately, your health - both physical and emotional - should be the top priority. I would advise consulting a healthcare professional, counselor, or support group to process this situation in a healthy way. They can provide guidance on next steps, testing if needed, and coping strategies.

Please remember that you have a compassionate community here should you need any other herpes-related information or support going forward. We're here to listen without judgment and help however we can.