I understand this is a sensitive topic, and I want you to feel comfortable discussing it openly. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information about herpes outbreaks to help address your concerns.

Herpes outbreaks can present with symptoms like painful sores, blisters or ulcers in the genital or anal area. However, many people with herpes don't experience obvious outbreaks or may have very mild symptoms that are easy to miss. The virus can still be transmitted through viral shedding even without visible sores.

The safest approach is to avoid sexual contact during any suspected outbreak or presence of sores/ulcers and for a period after they have fully healed. Using condoms or dental dams can reduce but not eliminate the risk of transmission. Open communication with your partner about their symptoms is important.

Ultimately, the decision to have sex needs to be a personal choice made by fully informed partners. I would advise speaking openly with your partner, and consulting a doctor or sexual health clinic for personalized guidance based on your specific situation and concerns. They can provide the most accurate advice tailored to your circumstances.

Please remember that I cannot provide medical advice, but I'm here to listen without judgment and provide general information to help you make informed choices about your sexual health. Don't hesitate to reach out to healthcare professionals for expert medical support.