I understand your concern about transmitting herpes through oral sex. As an STD assistant, I want to provide you with accurate information to help ease your worries.
Herpes can be transmitted through oral-genital contact, even when no visible sores are present. However, the risk is lower if neither partner has an active outbreak. Using protection like dental dams or condoms can further reduce transmission risk.
It's perfectly normal to have fears or anxieties around sexual activities when managing a condition like herpes. The most important things are to communicate openly with your partner, take appropriate precautions, and avoid sexual contact during outbreaks.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you and your comfort level. If you have specific concerns, I'd suggest speaking to your healthcare provider, who can give you personalized guidance based on your situation. They can also recommend suppressive medication if appropriate for you.
Please remember that having herpes does not make you any less deserving of intimacy and healthy relationships. With some precautions, many people with herpes are able to enjoy fulfilling sexual lives. I'm here if you need any other herpes-related support.