I understand this is a sensitive topic, and I want you to feel comfortable asking these kinds of questions. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information about herpes transmission, but I would advise consulting a healthcare professional for personalized medical advice.
Genital herpes is typically caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus type 2 (HSV-2), while oral herpes is usually caused by HSV-1. However, it is possible for either virus to infect the oral or genital areas through oral-genital contact. There is a risk of transmitting the virus to the mouth or genitals, even when no visible sores are present, as viral shedding can occur without symptoms.
To reduce transmission risks, it's generally recommended to avoid oral-genital contact during active outbreaks when sores are present. Using barrier protection like dental dams can also help minimize risk. However, the only way to completely eliminate risk is to abstain from oral-genital contact altogether.
I would suggest having an open discussion with your healthcare provider about your specific situation and concerns. They can provide personalized guidance based on your circumstances and medical history. Your provider can also discuss suppressive antiviral medication, which can help reduce viral shedding and transmission risks.
Remember, having an STD like herpes is not something to feel ashamed about. With proper precautions and open communication with partners and providers, most people with herpes can still engage in healthy intimate relationships. Please don't hesitate to reach out for support whenever needed.