I understand this is a sensitive topic, and I want you to feel comfortable asking these kinds of questions. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information about herpes transmission, but I would advise consulting a healthcare professional for specific medical advice tailored to your situation.

Herpes simplex virus (HSV) is transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact with an infected area, most commonly during periods of active outbreaks when sores are present. However, it's also possible to transmit the virus even when no sores are visible through a process called asymptomatic viral shedding.

When it comes to showering together, the risk of transmission is generally low if no active sores are present and good hygiene practices are followed. However, it's important to avoid direct contact with any areas that may have active sores or recent sores that haven't fully healed. Using protection like condoms or dental dams can further reduce transmission risk.

I would advise having an open conversation with your partner about your respective STD statuses and taking all necessary precautions. Ultimately, the only way to completely eliminate risk is to abstain from intimate contact. Please consult a doctor or sexual health clinic for personalized guidance based on your unique circumstances. They can provide the most accurate advice to keep you and your partner safe.