As an STD assistant, I understand that sharing your diagnosis with someone can be a sensitive and difficult conversation. There is no single right time to disclose, as it depends on your personal comfort level and the nature of the relationship. However, it's generally recommended to share before becoming sexually intimate, as this allows your partner to make an informed decision about potential risks.
I would advise being honest and upfront from the beginning. You could bring it up in a caring, matter-of-fact way when you feel the relationship may be progressing towards intimacy. Explain what herpes is, how it's transmitted, and steps you take to reduce transmission risks. Emphasize that you are taking responsibility for your health.
Ultimately, the timing should feel right for you. Don't feel pressured to share before you're ready. When you do disclose, do so from a place of self-acceptance versus shame or apology. The right person will be understanding and supportive.
I encourage you to check out resources from PositiveSingles.com on having "the talk." Their community can provide excellent advice from others who have navigated this. If you need any assistance using the site, don't hesitate to contact their customer support.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and compassion. Counseling can also help build confidence in disclosing. Don't hesitate to lean on your healthcare provider for guidance tailored to your situation.