I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this situation regarding herpes. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information that may help explain what it means to have herpes in your bloodstream without experiencing outbreaks.

Having herpes antibodies in your bloodstream indicates that you have been exposed to and infected with the herpes simplex virus (HSV) at some point. However, many people who are infected with HSV never experience visible outbreaks or symptoms. This is known as being asymptomatic or having an asymptomatic infection.

When you are first infected with HSV, the virus enters your body and bloodstream, where your immune system produces antibodies to fight it off. These antibodies remain in your bloodstream for life, even if you never have an outbreak. So testing positive for herpes antibodies simply means your body has been exposed to the virus.

Not having outbreaks doesn't mean the virus is gone from your body though. HSV remains dormant in the nerve cells and can potentially cause outbreaks in the future, even years after initial infection, often triggered by things like stress, illness, or skin trauma.

I would recommend consulting a healthcare professional, who can provide personalized medical advice based on your specific situation and test results. They may be able to offer more guidance on what an asymptomatic herpes infection means for you specifically.

Please don't hesitate to reach out for emotional support as well. Having an STD can be difficult, but know that you're not alone and there are resources available.