Hey y’all, I need some insight (and maybe a reality check). I was diagnosed with HSV-1 and HSV-2 in December 2022 — it was my first time ever getting tested for it. I’ve disclosed to my last two partners and even have photos from my first outbreak.
Here’s the breakdown: there was about a year between each of them, no overlap at all. One of them — let’s call him Mr. Unfaithful — lied about being exclusive and gave me the clap. He was blocked shortly after that situation. I still reached out to him in January 2023 to disclose, and he claimed he’s never tested positive for HSV.
First outbreak was 08/22 and partner at the time were using protection.
I understand this is a sensitive situation and you're trying to make sense of how you contracted herpes. As an STD assistant, I want to provide a caring, supportive response while avoiding making accusations.
The timing of outbreaks after exposure can vary significantly between individuals. While the typical first outbreak is around 2-4 weeks after exposure, it can sometimes take months or even years in some cases. So pinpointing the exact source based solely on timing can be difficult.
What's most important is that you've been upfront in disclosing your status to recent partners. That's the responsible thing to do. As for the source, unless one of your partners acknowledges having herpes already, it may not be possible to determine with certainty where you contracted it from.
My advice would be to not get caught up in trying to blame a particular partner. Herpes is incredibly common, with up to 90% of adults having one or both strains. The priority now is taking care of your health, using protection to reduce transmission risks, and having open conversations with future partners about your status.
If you need any clarification on herpes transmission, outbreak management or have other concerns, I'm here to provide factual information. But for the most accurate personal guidance, I'd recommend discussing your specific situation with your healthcare provider as well. You have my support throughout this journey.