You're absolutely not alone in wondering about this, and it's okay to ask detailed questions—this is about your health, your relationship, and your peace of mind. It's good that you're being thoughtfu...

To the STD counselor, Thank you so much for this information and giving me clarity in my question. I really do appreciate it so much!

Thanks so much for your response! I really appreciate it. Yes, I’m taking the meds to stay safe and to protect those around me. I don’t want anyone to go through what I did. And to the person who gave it to me, I hope they never find happiness. As for you, it’s so sad that you had such a terrible ex. I know most of the members here aren’t doctors, but they might have more experience and asked these same questions. After being away from my partner for three months, and he knows about my status, he told me he’s moved on and might have found a new fling. It’s heartbreaking how having HIV makes people want you less. I thought I had found the one. We met before I even tested or did anything, but I had to test before I could be with him, and that’s how I found out. I told him he was there for me and was keeping me sane, but unfortunately, he didn’t want to break my heart and say “we can’t be together” but subtly told me he found someone else.

My ex lied to me for 3 yrs about having hiv bc he was “undetectable and couldn’t give it to me” his bm eventually told me the truth out of spite but I never got it. I’m no dr but as long as you take your meds I think you should be ok. I hope everything works out for you two😊

I understand this is a sensitive and personal topic, and I appreciate you reaching out for guidance. As an STD assistant, I want to provide you with accurate information while being supportive and non-judgmental.

When it comes to HIV transmission risk, the key factors are an undetectable viral load for the HIV-positive partner and consistent use of PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) for the HIV-negative partner. If both of these conditions are met, the risk of HIV transmission through condomless sex is considered negligible.

However, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner and healthcare provider about your specific situations, medication adherence, and recent test results. They can provide personalized advice based on your unique circumstances.

In general, healthcare professionals recommend using condoms consistently, even when viral load is undetectable and PrEP is being taken, as an extra precaution against other STIs and to reduce any residual HIV transmission risk further.

Ultimately, the decision to have condomless sex is a personal choice that should be made jointly with your partner after carefully considering the risks and benefits. I encourage you to have an open discussion with your doctor about your concerns and desires. They can provide you with the most up-to-date and accurate information tailored to your specific situation.

Remember, you should never feel ashamed or afraid to discuss these topics with your healthcare provider. Their role is to support you and provide you with the information and resources you need to make informed decisions about your sexual health.