I feel the same. It’ll get better. It’s lonely I get it. But when I thought all hope was lost… someone without,that I just disclosed to yesterday on our second date, held my hand said he wants to research it more and told me I’m not damaged.
Later he texted and told me alllll about herpes ( like I didn’t know but it was cute) said he would invest in dental dams and condoms and on and on and on about how IF WE GET to that intimacy level… he wants to give us a try. I didn’t think this day would happen. I’ve only went on 2 dates in 6 years since my diagnosis. After being diagnosed it took me 5 years to accept it and love myself again. Sadly after disclosing they moved on. I don’t blame them. It’s disheartening. But it’s manageable. Just be patient. Work on yourself. Confidence, self care etc. Love will come. Chin up.

I got it years ago when I was 27 and thought for sure my life was over. There were no support groups then and the only person I could talk to was my sister, who had happened to call me during my first outbreak and actually suggested my horrible, painful symptoms might be herpes.
I have since gotten my graduate degree, moved out of state, had a successful career and married a wonderful man who was HSV negative. So you will find the right caring, loving man.
A friend told me when she revealed it to a man she was dating (and eventually married), his response was “Then I want it too!” That really gave me hope.
You are still a beautiful soul worthy of a wonderful, happy life which you will find. Millions of other people have this same virus so we are definitely not alone; please don’t ever let it define you. You are loved!

I’ve been HSV2+ since 2019, and honestly I forget I even have it from time to time. You start to have less outbreaks and symptoms the longer you have it so it seems like it’s not there. I’ve dated guys who didn’t have Herpes at all and some are okay with it when you explain how it works just have to be very educated on it to have them understand and at least have positive thoughts about it. Also I’ve dated certain people and several happen to be from this site. It’s not the end of the world and anything is possible just be confident
And walk in your truth. They have all over communities and mixers to get to know people, I encourage you to do that to find your tribe if you are worried about the stigma outside of our community. All is not lost and you have so much life to live. This disease does not define you or your character. You are still as human as anybody else with or without this disease! 🩷

I was diagnosed about 10 years ago and every time I tell a man I have it they run for the hills. I know we should think positively but it’s hard. I know how you feel. I have been there before. Feeling unworthy of love and wondering if you will find someone. I’m 45, never been married and at this rate not so sure it will ever happen for me.

This is me I push people away I feel like I’m gonna ruin they life

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. A herpes diagnosis can be overwhelming, and it's completely understandable to grieve and feel a loss of confidence. Please know that your feelings are valid, but also that this diagnosis does not define your worth, your ability to be loved, or your future relationships. You are not alone in this—millions of people live with HSV and go on to have fulfilling relationships and happy lives.

It's also important to recognize that these emotions can feel even heavier when struggling with thoughts of self-harm. If you ever feel like you're in crisis again, please reach out to a trusted friend, a mental health professional, or a crisis hotline. You deserve support.

Regarding your concerns about privacy and disclosure, there are some legal protections depending on where you live. While laws vary by state, here are a few key points:

Privacy and Defamation Laws – If someone maliciously spreads your health information with intent to harm your reputation, there may be legal grounds for defamation or invasion of privacy. However, laws differ by jurisdiction.

Intentional Transmission Laws – Some states have laws that make it illegal to knowingly transmit an STI without disclosing it to a partner. This does not mean you are required to disclose to anyone other than a sexual partner, but it does highlight legal considerations.

Revenge Porn and Cyber Harassment Laws – If someone shares private messages, images, or personal health details in a way that causes harm, laws against cyber harassment or revenge porn may offer protection.

If you're worried about disclosure risks while dating, you can take steps to protect your privacy. Some people choose to disclose after establishing trust in a relationship. Others prefer to connect with partners who already understand what it means to live with HSV. Support groups and herpes-friendly dating communities can be helpful for meeting people who get it.

Right now, the most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Your diagnosis does not take away your ability to be loved or to have a meaningful relationship. Healing—both emotionally and physically—takes time, but you will get through this. If you ever want to talk more, connect with support groups, or explore therapy, know that there are people who truly understand and care. You're not alone in this.

I’ve been hsv+ for almost 20years, symptoms fade and outbreaks stop and the only thing left is the stigma. It’s not the end of the world, I’ve dated men who aren’t hsv+ and are okay with it if you educate them, practice having the conversation and if they’re okay with it great if not move on.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time with your herpes diagnosis. The emotional pain and loss of self-confidence you're experiencing is understandable, but please know that you are not alone and this doesn't make you unlovable. Herpes is incredibly common and with the right treatment and self-care, it is manageable.

Regarding your concerns about privacy and disclosure, there are some laws in place to protect you. Many states have laws criminalizing the intentional transmission of an STD without disclosure. And there are also laws against defamation that could apply if someone maliciously spreads private health information to harm your reputation. However, the specifics vary by location.

My advice would be to focus on processing this diagnosis with self-compassion. Seek counseling if you're struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts. Educate yourself on transmission risks and prevention. And when you're ready to date again, have an open and honest discussion with potential partners. There are many understanding people out there.

You have so much to offer beyond your diagnosis. With time and support, you can regain your confidence and sense of self-worth. Please don't hesitate to lean on loved ones or support groups during this journey. You've got this.