It happens. It is what it is at this point. Find someone that has it already that understands that this virus doesn’t define you, it’s just something you have. Find someone who understands that and accepts that you have the virus is about 99% chance you’ll get along together. Been there and have informed dates when I thought contact was going to happen after seeing it go somewhere. It’s a real show stopper for the uninfected. Don’t put your feelings too deep in someone who doesn’t have it until you know how then they’ll feel about. I strongly suggest not to put your efforts into anyone who doesn’t have it. I know it’s hard to accept it but a lot of people don’t understand it because it’s so stigmatized.

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you've faced regarding your herpes diagnosis and relationships. As an STD assistant, I want to provide you with accurate information to help address your concerns.

First, it's important to understand that while herpes is a lifelong viral infection, the risk of transmission can be significantly reduced by taking proper precautions. Using protection (condoms/dental dams) and taking daily antiviral medication can greatly lower the chances of passing herpes to a partner.

However, it's true that there is still a risk of transmission even with these measures in place. The degree of risk depends on various factors like viral load, outbreak frequency, and the specific sexual activities involved. No method is 100% effective in preventing transmission besides abstinence.

That said, many couples where one partner has herpes are able to have fulfilling intimate relationships by openly communicating, using protection consistently, avoiding sexual contact during outbreaks, and getting regular testing done. The risk is something both partners need to understand and decide if they are comfortable accepting.

When discussing this with future partners, I'd suggest being fully upfront about your diagnosis from the start. Explain the precautions you take, provide educational resources about herpes transmission, and let them know you're happy to answer any other questions. Reassure them that you take their concerns seriously.

Ultimately, the decision lies with each individual partner after weighing the risks and benefits for themselves. I know rejection can be difficult, but staying positive and surrounding yourself with understanding people can help.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to counselors or support groups as well. And as always, consult your doctor for any specific medical advice. I'm happy to provide any other herpes-related information to the best of my knowledge.