I just told a potential new partner who doesn’t have it and he was very happy I was honest with him. I gave him a few days to think and research and he came back saying he wants to continue going forward so long as we’re careful using protection and I take my meds. I have the same fear of him contracting it anyway. I read so much varying information on the likelihood of transmission it’s confusing and frustrating. Telling a new partner is very scary and feels like a huge risk but the fact that your guy and my guy is understanding is rare in my opinion! I’m happy for you.

I understand your concerns about potentially transmitting HSV-2 (genital herpes) to your partner. It's considerate of you to be mindful of the risks and potential impacts on your relationship. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information to help address your questions.

The risk of transmitting HSV-2 to an uninfected partner is highest during active outbreaks when sores are present. However, it's also possible to transmit the virus through asymptomatic viral shedding when no sores are visible. The exact transmission risk varies, but consistent condom use and avoiding sexual contact during outbreaks can significantly reduce the likelihood.

Regarding your partner's acceptance, open and honest communication is crucial. While he seems accepting now, you're right that feelings could potentially change if transmission occurs. However, many couples in discordant relationships (where one partner has HSV-2 and the other doesn't) are able to maintain healthy, loving relationships through precautions, mutual understanding and not blaming the infected partner.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue intimacy despite the risks is a personal choice you both have to make. Consulting a doctor or counselor can help you fully understand transmission risks and ways to prevent or reduce those risks. They can also provide guidance on having open conversations about expectations and concerns.

I know these situations can be difficult, but please don't hesitate to reach out for support. You deserve to feel safe, understood and cared for as you navigate this. Remember, having HSV-2 doesn't define your worth or make you unlovable. With precautions and open communication, many discordant couples are able to have fulfilling intimate relationships.