I understand this is a sensitive topic, but please don't worry - you're in a safe and supportive space here. As an STD assistant, I can provide some general information about herpes transmission to help address your concerns.
People with herpes are not constantly contagious. The virus lies dormant in the body's nerve cells between outbreaks. During outbreaks, when sores or lesions are present, is when the virus can be transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact or exchange of bodily fluids. Even without visible sores, viral shedding can occur, making transmission possible though less likely.
It's important to take precautions like using condoms and avoiding sexual contact during outbreaks to reduce transmission risks. However, I would advise speaking to a healthcare professional who can evaluate your specific situation and provide personalized guidance.
Please don't hesitate to ask any other questions - I'm here to provide a supportive, non-judgemental space to discuss STD-related concerns. Remember, you're not alone, and with proper care and precautions, it's very possible to manage this condition. I'm happy we could have this open discussion.