All these shared experiences about living with STDs were contributed by real people. We hope to help you gain the confidence you need to manage STDs in your daily life.
Many people find comfort learning that others have similar experiences, especially when newly diagnosed. Inspire and help others by sharing your story! You can do it anonymously.
Ive always been an extremely socially awkward kid, i was and still amazing at hiding it, not many people could but the ones im closest to, because i went and still do go to great measures to avoid it, one on one contact even with my own family i find at times unbearable, so i pretty much thought id be doomed in the love department. for some reason being one on one with someone a barrier just shoots up and my mind goes completely numb and blank, so it made it very difficult for me to form relationships, so i would jump into sex and all that not knowing how to emotionally connect, already quite self conscious about my appearance contracting herpes just made me think i had reached rock bottom. The boy never told me, but just blocked me after wards. It took me a good year to be able to accept it, but I met someone who i really liked and i disclosed to him I had it, I gave him the choice to leave me or not, because I know i would have certainly wanted to know before having sex with someone and quite frankly its awful not to and impeding on someones right to consent and important information that can impact someones entire life. Things didnt work out, 6 months later, first boyfriend, he purposely tried to contract it to gain leverage into the relationship so i wouldnt leave him, granting him the right to treat me however he felt knowing i wouldnt have the balls to leave him because how bad i would have felt, my mum even told me this months before when i insisted we used a condom but he didnt want to. After I broke up with him i called him 2 weeks later to try and end things on a positive note he laughed in my face and hung up, i then proceeded to get horrible anonymous messages from his brother,seeing them at parties and them shouting derogatory nasty things at me, its been a while since ive seen both of them and thigns have stopped now thank god but the past two years has been the most awful time of my life.
I got divorced in 2012 after being married for twenty years. At first, I was looking forward to seeing what was out there. I started caring again about myself, eating better, exercising. I got back into school to finish my degree. I even went to counseling to help me sort out what it was I was missing in my marriage and what it was I needed in a relationship. I signed up online and made a few profiles on mainstream dating sites and began the process of messaging back and forth with people. I texted, talked on phone and met a few for dinner and a walk in the park. Then I got the phone call..you know the ONE. From the man I was married to for twenty years, from the father of my children who swore he loved me above all others but also telling me to go get tested to find out and though they ( the doctors) could not tell me when I was exposed they could tell me that I did indeed carry the antibodies for the virus. I was in a kind of dazed stupor for quite some time and to say I was devastated would be an understatement. I felt like I my whole world had been turned on its side..like someone was trying to rob me of my own identity and who I believed myself to be. I wondered what to do about my dating profiles and the carefully chosen pics that were showing me in a favorable light. The witty but charming profile that I worked too hard to create. My life was put in a holding pattern and has remained there ever since. Messages would continue to come in at times, if I were feeling generous I might respond. I would quickly cut it off after only a message or two. Why? because I became an expert at zooming in on their faults and spotting those red flags and weeding em out left and right. Zap there goes that one he was married and divorced twice! Zoom there goes that one he misspelled two words in his profile and has a picture of himself deer hunting. I was of course, convincing myself the entire time of my own intelligence and patting myself on the back over how particular I had become. I have only recently had an epiphany moment over what I was really doing. Maybe it was self-sabotage or maybe just preservation. What are my choices then? to make a new profile on the main dating sites saying openly and honestly what I have? yikes not sure I am quite ready for that. I have been on dating forums as an avid poster for years and know exactly how the word herpes is thrown around. I know exactly how most respond with repulsion and derision upon hearing that word. It suddenly becomes the one word that defines the sum total of who you are as a human being. I have chicken pox as a child and yet that does not define me. I was born with brown eyes but that does not encompass who I am as a human being. I have decided that this is a part of me but it does not even begin to describe who I am as a person.
Herpes found its way into my life at an early age. After discussing it with my partner, we went about an aggressive treatment and prevention plan. Learning my body and what to eat and when to play, I have not transmitted it to any of my partners. With management and open communication, life goes on seamlessly. In the grand scheme of things, this is a minor inconvenience. It is not a death sentence!
Everything was great and I was 12wks pregnant with baby no 4 with a new partner. With my ex husband we used condoms until we married 18mths later and had a check up for std's first as when I was 17 an ex had cheated and given me chlamydia and that had scared me enough. I was called into the Drs so thought they were going to say that I was aneamic as usual but they dealt they blow that I had hiv! They did another test that was different and had to be sent off and waited 6 long days convinced they had made a mistake! I had never slept around, never done drugs (well the odd spliff doesn't count in your teens right?). But was shocked to be told I was positive. I tried to finish with my ex as I was gonna die anyway. The Drs and midwives wanted me to have a termination but once I got help from the clinic they told me they had never had a child born positive with them whilst the mum was taking the meds! Proves the ignorance of the illness eh. My other kids had to be tested which was very scary indeed, I later discovered my ex hubby was bisexual and had been cheating on me whilst we were together. I don't hate him as he didn't give it to me on purpose and although he doesn't know I have it as no one other than my ex of 15yrs (I married and divorced young) he has to live with it too.
My child was born healthy and not positive! But it was a very scary time. I only started meds the end of last yr and not because my counts were low because advice on treatment has changed so I went from 2003 although left my hubby in 2001 and started meds end of 2016. I was scared of side effects as the ones I took in pregnancy made me very sick but I have not had one symptom from them. I just take two pills at night it's that simple and my cd4 is high and viral load undetectable.
No one knows and that's the hardest thing being scared that someone is gonna find out! My long term ex never got tested but has slept with at least 6 since me, I hope he hasn't infected them.
I met someone a few months back, and found myself referring to her as the woman I have been searching for my whole life. Everything was awesome, genuine and moving along slowly because we both could sense it was something special for both of us. I couldn't bring myself to tell her and excuse after excuse began to happen as to why we couldn't be together for a weekend or a nice weekend up in San Francisco. At one point I had purchased 1st class tickets to SF and a suite at the St. Regis downtown SF and canceled just 3 days away from us going. After that, it was a slow decline of our relationship due to my hesitation and I feel the pain of that several months later. We are now only friends but even she doesn't really know why. Currently, I am dating a beautiful, active and spontaneous woman and just have this feeling that it will go nowhere. I guess the point of all of this is I need to be honest and upfront earlier and let things go from there.
You have herpes.....I remember hearing those word like it was yesterday. I was first diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 20. I instantly remembering thinking my dating life is over because no one is going to accept me. I ended up hiding from the world for the first few months, I lost all interest in any sexual activity it took me months to even start to accepting myself.. Now I'm out everyday keeping myself fit and busy, the more fun you are having the more you forget about having it so forget your little problems like herpes and go and still live your life the way you were before you got those words you wish you had never heard
I was diagnosed with genital herpes when I was 21 years old. As a young woman,I was not in tuned with my body.I would get flu like symptoms very often and couldn't understand why I was sick. One day, I had a nasty outbreak and I was highly embarrassed of this bump and it was itchy, burns, and I was in pain.
I mustered enough courage to tell my Ob/Gyn doctor. She takes a q-tip and swabs the small bump.I had no idea that it may have been an std.She immediately knew that it was HSV2.In a nonchalant tone, she says oh Its probably herpes.I immediately froze and asked her in a low and frightened voice, whats that? I felt like it was the end of the world.I wondered if I can have children.
I couldnt even remember who had given me the disease.
I was in a relationship with someone who I assumed wouldn't mind.He accused me of knowing about it.I tried to explain that I was not in tuned with my body. He stopped talking to me,refuse to answer my calls.I really needed that support after the diagnosis. I realized months later that I wasn't his best interest.I am grateful that he treated me unkindly because I learn about self worth.
I wad thinking back at that moment, I was scared, nervous, depressed, anxious, and felt like it was the end of the world.
Over the years, I dated people who had it and didn't have.In fact I married someone who did not have it.I was married for five years.I even had a beautiful and healthy baby.
She is six years old.I am fortunate to have her in my life.
i dont want to lose site of this story.As of today, I can say that I am educated on my eating habits.I know which food to avoid, I eat healthy and live stress free.This is the key, to avoid outbreaks.I believe stress causes outbreaks.I also believe that if you stress over having this disease you increase your changes of getting the Outbreaks often.
You have herpes.....I remember hearing those word like it was yesterday. I was first diagnosed in 2006 at the age of 21. I instantly remembering thinking my dating life is over because no one is going to accept me. I ended up hiding from the world, secluding myself from friends, family and potential mates. I was ready to just completely give up. One day, everything changed, I stumbled on the website, positive singles. Reluctantly and hesitant at first, I eventually talked myself into joining positive singles and I purchased a three month membership. Best decision of my life.
Due to this website, I have met a wonderful woman, a woman that I'm proud to call my friend. I joined this site, not really sure of what I would find. I am lucky to have found someone who has been by my side through many life events, graduations, birthdays, the death of a loved one and even heartbreak. She has been a support system, my personal cheerleader and that person to give me a swift kick in the butt when need be. I may not have found the love of my life yet on this site BUT, I have found a friend for life. A person that will have my back no matter what.
My advice to those who are on the fence on purchasing a subscription, just do it! Go in with an open mind, be open to the possibility of finding new love or just finding friendship. That type of friendship that will last a lifetime.
I was in a committed relationship with a man I was supposed to marry for about 3 1/2 years. I was diagnosed with Herpes Simplex about two months into our relationship and like so many others, I was overwhelmed, scared, and angry. He was my second partner and someone I cared deeply about. Turns out he was asymptomatic and was not even aware he had it until I began showing signs, and it was the biggest awakening ever.
We had our ups and downs over the next two years and after circumstances that were unrelated to the STI, I ended our engagement and began my new life as a single, professional woman. It's tough. I had almost forgot what it was like being single-- then I realized I was a single, professional woman with an STI that I once felt truly ashamed of and it scares me because I feel like my dating pool is severely limited. However, I'm finding that I've become stronger through meeting and talking to people on this website and doing my best to improve myself on a personal level and ultimately, find someone I can share a new life with.
I am not letting this define me because I know I have so much to offer someone who really wants to get to know me and love me for who I am. Sometimes I have moments of loneliness, but I know that I am blessed to have what I have with the friends and family I have around me as well.
Ya know after finding out of course my recent BF stopped loving me. The xoxo and I love you completely stopped. Phone calls and text stopped. Wow and I at least was woman enough to let him know. Now as I sit back and think this out. I honestly believe this is nothing more than a really bad name (herpes). Heck diabetes make you lose body parts and death, cancer well we know that can come n go, ghonoreiah if not treated can go to the brain as my aunt ended as a scidzo, HIV we know the outcome( but still have love for them). I guess what I'm saying is what is herpes to effect? We have to take meds just like the others listed above an may be an out break once or twice a year( I've never had one). So in my mind is just a nasty little name!!!
I know that it sounds so cliche, "time heals all wounds" but the saying is so true. I remember it so clearly, November 2009 and I get the call stating that my test came back positive for GHSV II. I instantly felt alone, stupid, un-lovable, every bad emotion on the spectrum went through me.
It hasn't always been a very easy journey but its one that I wouldn't trade for the world! Almost 7 years later, I've met so many wonderful people that I would never have had the chance to interact with if it wasn't for being diagnosed with herpes. It sounds crazy to say, but having herpes, has changed my life, it changed it for the better.
I've found numerous online communities via and positive singles that gave me the opportunity to connect with people from all of the US and the world. I've been able to travel to many different states knowing that no matter where I go, I'll always have a community of people waiting to welcoming me with arms wide open.
People have encouraged me to step outside of this community and date those that do not herpes and I've found people who have accepted me, herpes and all. People who have supported and encouraged me through graduate school, through career changes, life moves, etc. People....friends that have became family, all because I was diagnosed with herpes.
Several years after becoming widowed, I ventured into the dating scene. I was devasted when I found out I had contracted herpes. Often the question is asked if its worth it to upgrade to gold membership. I would certainly say it is as it allows you to take the initiative to contact members. While not currently in a relationship, when I first joined I met a wonderful man I dated for several years and someone whom to this day I still consider as a friend. Initiative is the key word here as it was I who contacted him. If you are serious about finding a match your best chances are to reach out and take the first step. With gold membership, you have the added benefits of writing that first email, seeing who favorited you and liked your photos.
In 2008 I was diagnosed with hpv and went through a variety of treatments. Some warts responded to Podofilox, some to Aldera, and some to vinegar. I haven't seen any warts in many months. It was awful, it sucked big time, it took control of my life for several years, but it's like a bad dream now.
Life does go on so I'll never give up hope. :) I'll Keep trying and eventually I'll be clear. I remember reading posts like this and thinking it would never be me posting that it was over or close to being over. When I hit the 6th months clear, I was still not a complete believer, but I check for new ones less and less often...like once every two months now. And still nothing. :) I'll probably stop checking after I have a full year of clearance, but it does get better.
Now I'm currently ready to settle down & find a husband and have kids.
I like this site because of the chat. I was a severely injured and disabled combat vet. Still am technically but I am finally enjoying some rapid recovery from injuries.
All I needed was human contact. Since my wife passed away I really did turn inward and secluded myself from life. That did absolutely no good whatsoever. Especially since I have a great little six year old son.
No matter how hard you try to be a good person if you do not invest in yourself you really wind up cheating others in your life. Especially yourself. Being here was an investment for me.
Spending the money to renew my membership after my wife gifted me one kept me going. It allowed the big kid in me to come out and play and socialize without worry of social stigmas. Whether it was banter or serious conversations I found it all here.
I simply hate the "conversation" about STD's with people who don't have it. It's a really cold wet blanket at first, but it soon dries out. If you make friends here it's like a cozy blanket. I hope you discover that, too.
The important thing is to remember you are not alone. Not everyone is Prince Charming or Cinderella, but that's life. What you do find here is common ground.
I met my wife here. Sometimes fairy tales come true. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. The hands on life's clock can never be turned back. I say keep moving forward and take charge of your future.
Welcome and good luck.
My story begins like this.....In the winter of 2008 i started to feel sick i had a upper respitory situation going on, I went to the Dr and was Diagnosed with Brochitis and was given Medicine but i was not responding to it, I was getting weaker and not wanting to get out of bed. A girlfriend who i was living with dragged me to Tampa General Hospital. Shortly after being admitted I was put in ICU, thats the last i remember for what would be 6 weeks in a Coma and living on life support, both my Lungs were compramised with double pnemonia,one lung collapsed and needed Emergency Surgury, my cd4 count was 2, the Hospital Clergyman was in my room preparing to give me my last rights...Then came the Miracle, i came out of the Coma, when i was able to respond I was told i had full blown AIDS, I was still not expected to live, I lost all functions of my legs and had to learn to walk again in a Rehab, i went from a wheelchair to a walker then to a cane....Thru a Great Dr and Meds my cd4 count today is 800 and living a normal life....The Moral of my story is never give up having HIV/AIDS is not a Death Sentence ....Oh and before having sex be safe and not reckless...God Bless to you all ...John
I was 20 years old when I found out I had it. I was in a committed relationship of 2 years and my boyfriend at the time had a cold sore on his lip and gave it to me that way. We were uneducated and young. We stayed together for 3 years after that and he never got it on his own genitals. Since then I've been rejected by multiple people that seemed like they might understand, but didn't.
I have however found a lot of love and support through having it as well. I have found people who truly care and weeded out those only looking for a one night stand. As the years go by I make sure to remind myself that perhaps its a blessing I disguise.
I was in college and my best friend one night came over and we hung out, everything was fantastic. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up a while later to him restraining me and forcing himself on me. Noone came to my rescue. I felt hopless. Within a week I couldnt walk and went to the doctor. With tears In their eyes they told me it looks positive for herpes. I thought my life was over. Now that I was in the situation, It became apparent to me how often people mock the issue. its hurtful. Eventually through therapy I was able to live with myself again but it was very lonely. Finally I found the man that I would call my first husband. This was a huge mistake because he wasnt apparently attracted to me but "loved me".. I dont get it but anywAy now I am able to live with myself with no more endless nights crying because I know that if someone wants to be with you, they will be with you
I joined PS after a guy I was dating stopped responding to calls and texts once I told him I had herpes. I decided I needed to find someone that understood what I was going through. My fourth first date with PS was with my now husband. He was the perfect guy for me. Having herpes was no longer at the front and center of my dating life. We have been married for 2.5 years and have a 1.5 year old. I know consider having herpes to be a blessing in my life. I never would have met my husband without that turn of events, and herpes or not, he is my best friend.
I got herpes from my boyfriend 35 years ago, when I had just turned 18. I was still in high school. He denied having it but a year later gave it to a good friend of mine. I had a rough time in the early years. I would get it a lot and the outbreaks would be quite severe. There wasn't a lot of information about it and I felt very, very, very alone.
Over time they have lessened, and I started taking Valtrex daily which has helped a lot.
I've had a lot of rejection from people I dated, when we got to the point where I needed to tell them. I then also had a lot of depression over the rejection and feeling unlovable. But here and there I did find people who were accepting. It's just a matter of luck I think. I could never predict who would be accepting and who would recoil and run.
I have to say I've led a fairly normal life even with having herpes. I've always been a fairly driven person, completed my education, worked hard, and had good career progression. I married and delivered two beautiful children normally. I even had an outbreak a few weeks before one of my due dates, but the doctor just shrugged and said if you have an active outbreak on the delivery table, that's when we need to think about what to do but for now you are fine. It went away by the time I delivered the baby.
I stayed in my marriage longer than I would have if I did not have herpes. I was definitely not looking forward to going back out and dealing with the rejection again. But in the long run, staying in an unhappy marriage was more destructive than living a life true to myself and my ideals.
I only logged onto this website a few weeks ago. It is a FANTASTIC forum for people to share support, encouragement, and tips on how to be socially active and live with herpes. The very worst thing about having this condition is the damage that I let it do to my sense of self-worth. And for what?! For who?! I look back and all the people who I let make me feel bad about myself were so not worth it!!
The week before I turned 21 I felt so tired and sick. Then I started to get bump like things down there. I really didn't think it was anything more than an irration then it got 100 times worse I was in so much pain all the time everything hurt when I tried to walk the corners of my vision would go black and I wanted to pass out.
So I finally forced myself to the doctor and she confirmed it for me.
I was in a pretty bad serious relationship. We had had sex just 2 days before my symptoms started. When it told him he called me every name in the book accused me of cheating on him. But later confessed he knew that his ex had it and he just thought he didn't .
I was devastated. This didn't happen to girls like me. All I wanted all my life was to get married and have kids. I didn't even know anyone who had this.
I was upset and cried for days. I decided not to tell anyone.
A few weeks later I realized nothing was different with my life. I wasn't different because of this diagnose . It wasn't a big deal why should I be so sad. It really is just a skin condition is what I had to learn. It doesn't make you bad or dirty.
My only regret in this is I told one wrong person . Someone I called my best friend and she turned around and told other people . That's the worst part in all of this .
I've known since February and I really thought I would want to never date again. But even now it doesn't really change that . I met a wonderful man and we're getting to know each other and he's okay with it.
I'm lucky I haven't had an outbreak since the first time, and I've finally decided to stop worrying all the time when the next one is.
I wish that I didn't have this but it really isn't a big deal