Many may not think about it, but there are plenty of seniors who are actively looking for dates. They are like anyone who is looking for someone to spend quality time with, enjoy similar activities and possibly foster a long term, loving relationship.
It may surprise people to learn that among the senior dating of the world, there are a percentage of them who have STDs.
Diseases do not look at any factors like age or sex. An STD can affect a 75 year old man as easily as a 19 year old female. This does not mean that the world is cut off to the 50 plus dating who have STDs. It just means the senior population may have to work slightly harder to find an appropriate date.
According to some studies, there are approximately 17.09 percent of the population between the ages of 55-65. This small number may elicit one of two reactions in most people: surprise at the fact there is a population at this age who are dating or shock that there is a percentage of seniors who have STDs.
While the percentages may not be as high as they are among the younger generations, the fact remains that there is a group of senior citizens, actively looking for a date or romantic partner, who have some form of an STD.
Like anyone with or without an STD, the dating game follows the same path. Actively seeking someone, finding out similar interests, building a foundation and seeing what the future holds for them. The only difference is the person who is actively searching for a date may have grandchildren.
Having an STD and being a senior dating citizen should not diminish a desire for companionship. Everyone wants to be appreciated and to be able to experience life with someone else. The rules apply equally for everyone who has an STD. Open, honest communication about the STD, appropriate testing and medications and proper protection are all a part of the STD dating world in general. That world is just as open for the 50 plus dating population as well.
At one time, the very mention of the letters STD caused shock and horror. Many recoiled quickly from even thinking about these words as images of open sores, incurable diseases and a basic loss of human decency began to course through the mind.
Thankfully, because of medication, science and education, the taboos once associated with STDs has diminished greatly. One reason for this fact: the number of celebrities and famous people with STDs.
The most common STDs are syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea. All three of these are easily treated with rounds of antibiotics available from any primary care physician. The most taboo of them all, however, is herpes – because herpes cannot be cured.
Herpes is the only disease that gets real publicity, again because the disease is incurable, only treatable. Herpes does not discriminate, and anyone can become infected with the virus.
Even so, there are plenty of celebrities with stds, herpes included. Many times, celebrities are caught buying drug treatments for the disease. Here is a partial list of celebrities and famous people with herpes or are rumored to have the virus.
Derek Jeter– The Yankee ball player is quite possibly the most famous and has infected more than one of his previous girlfriends, including Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel.
Jim Carrey – This funny man from Canada has been seen buying herpes treatment medication under a pseudonym.
Usher – A musician from Atlanta, Usher has been sued twice by two women allegedly infected with the herpes virus through contact with him.
This is only a partial list of famous people with STD’s, but it gives some insight into those who suffer with them.
Be upfront and open about your concerns about the STD
The first time you learn that someone has herpes, it can be a very frightening experience. The average person doesn’t know much about common STD. It’s a taboo topic in most households where they learn such things. The information about sexually transmitted disease gathered from friends is often grossly inaccurate. Unless your friend is a doctor, they probably aren’t an expert when it comes to STDs. That’s the blunt truth that everyone needs to be aware of. When you first hear someone has herpes, it can send shivers down your spine. No need to say that it’s your most intimidate partner who may have the viral disease.
Sit down and have the talk
You’re going to need to talk with your partner if you plan on being sexually active. If you’re not going to go down that path, then there’s no need to talk about it at all. You can leave the subject where it is. But, if you are planning on having sex, then you’re going to want to educate yourself about it. No relationship can grow if it’s based on lies. You need a rock solid foundation for a relationship to survive and thrive. Feeling comfortable talking about anything and everything is a must. Yes, that means you’re going to have to talk about the herpes virus.
There is no such thing as a stupid question
You may feel uncomfortable asking some questions. Your partner may feel uncomfortable answering them. There must come the point when two adults can talk about things of a sexual nature. If your relationship continues to grow, then you’re going to have many more conversations about sex. There’s nothing wrong or sinister about sex. The only time sex becomes sinister is if you’re holding back information. If you know you have an STD and don’t tell your partner, then that’s wrong.
Don’t be shy about the two of talking to a doctor
What do you do if you believe this person could be your soul mate? It’s not just a fling, and you’re terrified of the idea of viral infections. What you do is set up a session for both of you to talk to a doctor. It could be your doctor or theirs; it doesn’t matter. If you have any questions, then just ask. Don’t be shy about your partner being there. You’re going to have to deal with herpes for the rest of your relationship. It will become easier to talk about. Right now it feels awkward, and you’re not sure about all of this. Hopefully, those feelings will go away after you speak to a doctor. You need to get this straightened out. It may take going to a doctor and talking to them about it. If your partner really is your soul mate, they’ll put up with a little uncomfortableness at the doctor’s office.
The questions aren’t going to end
There will come a time when you have fewer questions about your partner’s herpes infection. They won’t ever come to an end. Your partner will deal with outbreaks of genital herpes and other aspects of the virus. This is a reality that you’re going to have to deal with. It’s worth dealing with and taking seriously if you truly love the person. There isn’t a good reason why you shouldn’t invest the time in educating yourself. The most important aspect of learning about sexual contact and herpes is that you’ll be able to protect yourself and help your partner as they cope with cure for the virus.
Allow your feelings to grow when dealing with herpes dating
When you first learned the person you fell in love with had herpes it was a big shock. It probably rocked your world. Now you’re left trying to pick up the pieces. A million questions are going through your mind right about now. None of them seem to make sense in the slightest. How could you have fallen in love with someone who has herpes? What do you do now? These are all questions that are normal to ask yourself in a situation like this. It’s essential for you to realize that this isn’t the end of the world. The new love of your life deserves to be given a chance. The fact that they have herpes doesn’t have to be a deal breaker.
Take a deep breath and educate yourself
You need to calm down. Somehow try to pull it together. No one is ever going to say that finding out someone you love has herpes is an easy thing. It’s not easy. No one ever brushes off news like this. However, you need to realize that it’s not the deal ender that you think it is. You can and should allow your feels to grow. You already have some feelings for this person. They are unique in your eyes and them having herpes doesn’t change that. All it means is that they have a medical condition that you’ve got to be concerned about. It doesn’t mean that you can’t grow old and happy with this person.
Anger, confusion, and sadness is normal
It’s normal to feel these things when you learn that someone you care so deeply about has herpes. Allow yourself to feel these feelings. Suppressing feelings is never a good thing. You should also be open and honest about what you’re going through. A person who cares about you will understand. They must realize that you’re going to have a lot of questions. Telling someone you have herpes isn’t the end of the conversation, it’s the beginning. If they treat it as if it’s the end, then you’re definitely in big trouble. It means they aren’t going to be as forthcoming as needed to deal with this head-on.
Grow as a couple together
You’ll get over this hurdle. You will be educating yourself and being very transparent about everything. Marriage is not out of the question for someone who has herpes. A person with herpes can even produce healthy children. You can build a life together after overcoming this little bump in the road. The size of the bump will become less over time. At first, the bump feels like it’s a mountain. After you become educated about the herpes virus, it’ll be a tiny little molehill. It takes time to get to that point, and the two of you will get there together.
Happiness should be the end goal of everyone. The way you achieve happiness is by falling in love and having a family. There is no greater happiness in the world than being a spouse and a parent. You and your partner can achieve those even if one of you has herpes and the other doesn’t. The foundation of your relationship will be built upon honesty and understanding. The rest will come as a natural byproduct of your love.
It is wise to admit that depression rates among young singles diagnosed with STD is on the increase and needs urgent attention. An increase in suicidal thoughts among adults is a red sign that responsible parents and loved ones should take into consideration to save the situation before it gets out of hand.
Besides the embarrassment and agony of learning that you are infected with STD, there is hope in knowing that it is manageable. STD is not a fatal illness and should not be the cause of panic and extreme strain psychologically. Today, the virus has infected a large portion of the American population across all ages and classes of singles. In fact, based on recent surveys, scientists have suggested that one of four women and one out of every five men are infected with herpes in the US. What is most amazing is the fact that despite these high rates, most of the victims are unaware of their condition. If you are infected, you do not need to worry and get depressed because you are not alone.
It is important to note that singles living with the virus can still lead long happy and romantically satisfying lives. They can still maintain their normal lives while managing their condition with medication. However, the stigma that comes with knowledge and spread in the society is detrimental. It is the cause of depression in many young singles and a likely cause of suicide. STD and dating remain a problem facing these singles when it should not be a hindrance to experience a life full of love and happiness.
Panic and Worry
After the first bout of the outbreak, it is common for most singles to slump into stress that eventually leads to depression. Although the frequency of subsequent outbreaks can be reduced with suppressing therapy, depression is a bigger enemy to restored or sustained health. The most complicated issue, especially among the singles, is dating with STD. STD and dating is increasingly a stressing issue and the reason for depression. However, when approached with openness and honesty, the condition is embraceable and manageable.
The initial panic and worry that comes from the realization that one is infected are based on the stigma that follows. The fear of being rejected by a sexual partner and the discrimination among social circles and friends. In the effort to manage the disease, STD and sexual contact become the most complicated issue to approach. Since the disease is easily transferable by all forms of sexual contact, victims get depressed about having to change their sexual habits.
Singles and Depression
There are many recently conducted surveys that link depression to STD diagnosis. With the high increase of infections today, depression rates equally rise with a direct proportionality. Early statistics indicated that adults infected with the HSV-2 virus were twice as likely to be depressed compared to those who did not. These rates have since increased with the times, as more singles are falling victims to the virus. The surveys also found that depression is caused by the perception that the patients led a careless sexual life. They are assumed to be singles who take sexual risks or are promiscuous.
STD may be the cause of depression in singles but depression also increases the frequency of STD outbreaks. This connection keeps singles in a psychological maze, which is hopeless and infuriating.
Dealing with Depression
The best way to deal with depression is; find singles or someone who is infected too and talk to them. This will be therapeutic and you will heal faster from depression. You will also experience fewer outbreaks thanks to a good psychological well being. When you meet singles with STD, you will not be afraid to open up and talk freely about the challenges, stigma, and share the best methods of dealing with the outbreak.
You may also hire the services of a psychiatrist or counselor. Call them whenever you need guidance or help to manage the disease. Apart from a professional counselor, a close loved one such as an elderly family member is a good choice for a confidant to help you talk about the disease and the challenges that come with it.
Dating while living with STD is different. In fact, the thought of hooking up is itself a challenge. You have to consider multiple factors and overcome yourself before making the bold step of asking someone for a close relationship.
The stigma in society is the main reason people living with an STD choose to confine themselves and lead a quiet and miserable life. Also, the mode of contraction determines if an individual regains normalcy in life or considers the lives shattered. Unlike common belief, STD is not always about promiscuous living. Sometimes, it is an accident or uncertain circumstances. In fact, some people can only speculate how they ended up with an STD.
Dating with STD
The fact that it is a lifetime condition is frustrating. You have to face the reality of living with a condition for the rest of your life. Some sexually transmitted infections are severe others are manageable. Also, it depends on an individual’s immunity. Like with herpes, the disease barely shows on the outside but other chronic infections like AIDS will affect an individual’s boy and will be easy to tell.
How the disease affects your body has everything to do with dating. First, if your appearance is impaired, you will likely be less confident in public because you will imagine everyone knows of your condition and the exact cause. It is a difficult position to be in a society let alone narrowing down to a romantic partner.
A hookup can be of great challenge when living with an STD. You are always insecure and oversensitive over comments of people around you. One is prone to hurt whenever negative comments are made in relation to sexually transmitted infections. Most people tend to be anti-social after the diagnosis because of fear of harsh judgment. In most cases, this is true; the society harshly judges people with STDs by linking it to loose living.
People have different perceptions of relationships. For teenagers, they are concerned about fun and experience in the dating process. It is not much about the future. The focus of teenagers in a relationship is how fun and entertaining the partner is and how much time they can spend together in movies an outdoor activities. Usually, there is no long-term goal in teenage relationships. If there is an STD case, it can be perceived in two ways.
The relationship can be easy and fun considering the entertainment and activities of the moment is the main goal, there is no much worry about the future with respect to lifetime commitments. On the other hand, it can be difficult for teenagers to relate to an STD infected partner because they are considered a risk and possible ruin to future life.
When dating while living with an STD, an individual cherishes the relationship considering finding another understanding person and going through the stages of judgment and explanation is hard. With teenagers, there is a lot of time to have fun and experiment with different partners with different personalities. This is also the same case with people free from STDs. There is less consideration in hooking up with someone; it is all about desirable features and personality compatibility. However, when it comes to dating with STD, the other party has to engage in critical thinking and probably consult and spend time with counselors before making a decision.
To people with STD, once they are in a relationship they hold on to it and give their very best to make it a success. The truth is, it is hard for them to find another one.
Sex and dating
Sex is the main cause of STDs. Also, sex is a key characteristic of dating. People may have different opinions on the appropriate stage to have sex in a relationship but the basis is it is part of dating. While there are risks, sex has its benefits. It can be a defining stage for lovers. Sex helps relationships to mature. You know your partner better and settle with emotions.
Dating is a process with multiple stages, which define the success or failure of the relationship.
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