People are often curious, or even skeptical, of the motives and desires of those who use dating websites to meet new people, build relationships or even search for true love. This is no different for dating websites dedicated to helping people with sexually transmitted diseases (STD) meet other singles sharing the same conditions and looking to connect with others.
PostiviteSingles.com was highly interested in this same question of what people were looking for in a dating website. To discover this answer and more, the company recently conducted a survey of its one million plus registered members to better understand why they joined PositiveSingles.com and what they expected of the website and other people using the website.
To answer the question of what members were searching for, the industry leading dating website asked over 10,000 of its members to participate in a short online survey. The survey asked a variety of questions regarding what the members were most looking for in using the services of the website. With regard to their desired relationship, members were offered the following two choices, being allowed to select one of the two options or both options.
• Relationship, Marriage, Dating
Of the respondents to the PositiveSingles.com survey, only 0.8% chose sex only as the main thing they were looking for in using the site. The remaining 99.2% selected Relationship, Marriage, Dating, or Relationship, Marriage, Dating and Sex.
“The result of our member survey is very revealing, but not surprising to us,” responded Suny Smith, PositiveSingles.com spokesperson. “Most of our members tell us that they are searching for a relationship rather than just a hookup. But, since sex is always a part of any close and intimate relationship, the overwhelming majority of the members surveyed selected both sex and a relationship when responding to what they were most looking for at PositiveSingles.com. We are focused on people interested in dating and who have the goal of building serious relationships that can lead to true love and even marriage.
These results offer hope and encouragement for singles who have an STD and encounter difficulties and frustrations in having a positive dating and love life. The members at PosiviteSingles.com are clearly looking for long term relationships with compatible singles who share a common STD and are having success doing so.
Herpes is one of the most common sexually transmitted diseases out there. Surprisingly, most people know very little about it or when they even have it. The most reliable way to determine if you have genital herpes or oral herpes is to have a blood test done. This test will find if there are antibodies to the herpes simplex virus 1 or the herpes simplex virus 2. From there, you can take the necessary steps to treat the disease and to reduce the symptoms.
With that being said, there are some people who don’t notice any symptoms after they’ve unknowingly contracted herpes. While most people will break out with red blisters or cold sores within 2 weeks, others may not see any visible signs of herpes for years. In the meantime, you are still able to transmit the virus to other sexual partners that you may have. Until you get tested, you won’t know that you have herpes unless you see visible symptoms of the disease. Aside from the sores and blisters on the affected area, you may also experience swollen lymph nodes, fever, tingling, and fatigue. If you get any of these symptoms on a regular basis and they don’t go away, then go to the doctor so they can determine if you have herpes or some other virus.
If you happen to notice that you have herpes soon after you’ve contracted it, you may have to wait up to 6 weeks before you can get a reliable blood test. The reason for this is that the antibodies from your immune system need time to build up in your bloodstream. That way, the blood test will discover the antibodies to the herpes virus. The last thing you would want to happen is to get a blood test right after you’ve contracted the virus and then have it come back negative because there weren’t enough antibodies discovered. This would give you the false impression that you don’t have herpes even though you really do.
If you have suspicions that you may have herpes, the first thing you should do is contact all the people that you’ve had sex with over the last year and ask them if they have herpes. Some of them may admit they do while others will not. Perhaps they don’t know that they have it or they are too proud to admit they do. It may be a bit awkward to call and ask them this question, but it is worth it because this is about your health and your life.
To order to protect our member, PositiveSingles consults with lawyer Jon Michael Probstein regarding the legal problems that STD people may meet: Are they obligated to tell their partners the STD status?
Admitted to practice in New York and the federal courts (Southern and Eastern District) as well as the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, Mr. Probstein is special counsel to law firms in Los Angeles and New York, as well as operating his own practice in Nassau County. In addition, he serves as a Part 137 Arbitrator on attorney/client fee disputes and as an Arbitrator in Small Claims, District Court, Nassau County. A qualified Part 36 Guardian, Attorney, etc. in Queens, Nassau and Suffolk Counties, he is also a registered attorney with the New York State Department of Labor for Unemployment Insurance claims and an accredited attorney for claims for veterans’ benefits before the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). Mr. Probstein has performed pro bono work for the Volunteer Lawyers Project - Nassau/Suffolk Law Services, Inc., The Safe Center (formerly the Nassau County Coalition Against Domestic Violence) and the Nassau County Bar Association, where he is also a member of the Lawyers Assistance Program Committee and the recipient of the 2015 Thomas Maligno Pro Bono Attorney of the Year award.
PositiveSingles.com: Are the STD people obligated to tell their partners the STD status when dating?
Jon Michael Probstein: Certainly in NY, STD people are obligated. Under rulings in the area of personal injuries, such as negligence and intentional tort, courts have held that an affirmative legal duty to disclose exists in the relationship between parties where the defendant knew or should have known that he or she had a communicable disease. In addition, New York Public Health Law § 2307 also imposes a duty to disclose, which provides: "Any person who, knowing himself or herself to be infected with an infectious venereal disease, has sexual intercourse with another shall be guilty of a misdemeanor." This is a state matter so anyone concerned should consult with local counsel.
PositiveSingles.com: What if their partners contract the STD in case that they did not tell their partners they have STD?
Jon Michael Probstein: The responsibility can be considerable. At the moment, criminal responsibility in New York appears to be limited to a misdemeanor. In 2015, New York State’s highest court, the Court of Appeals, ruled, in an HIV case, that “without a doubt, defendant's conduct [having unprotected sex when he knew he was HIV] was reckless, selfish and reprehensible. Under our case law, though, this is not enough to make out a prima facie case of depraved indifference [a felony]”. Of course, if an STD individual engaged in this conduct with a “malevolent desire for the victim to contract the virus, or that he was utterly indifferent to the victim's fate”, a different result may be found by a court. Other states have different rules.
On the civil side, some attorneys have stated they won or received settlements up to 7 million dollars or greater. The most famous of these cases was the late Marc Christian MacGinnis, who won a multimillion-dollar settlement in 1991 from the estate of his ex-lover, actor Rock Hudson, after convincing a jury Hudson had knowingly exposed him to AIDS. Most recently, headlines have been made regarding the litigations involving recording artist Usher and allegations of failure to warn partners that he allegedly had an STD.
PositiveSingles.com: What if their partners contract the STD in case that they did tell their partners they have STD?
Jon Michael Probstein: Written partner notification documents signed and acknowledged before a notary may offer the best protection against frivolous litigation (not aware of any case law on this) but nothing can prevent someone from going to court.
PositiveSingles.com: What if you do not have an STD but your partner claims you gave it to them?
Jon Michael Probstein: In a recent New York case, the parties first met on the online dating site and had unprotected sex after the plaintiff asked the defendant whether he had any sexually transmitted diseases ("STDs"), and defendant denied that he did. Shortly thereafter, the plaintiff was treated for herpes and for the next two years, the relationship continued but after the parties split, an action was commenced for damages. In fact, the defendant had medical proof that he had no STD’s and after considerable costs and legal fees, the case against him was dismissed.
Sexually transmitted infections lead to sexually transmitted diseases. If you’re having unprotected sex with someone whom you barely know, then your chances of obtaining an STD are high. However, they will be even higher if you’re leading a sexually active life where you’re having sex with many different people on a regular basis. Sometimes people go through this phase in their lives when they’re dating different people and trying to test the waters to see who is the right one for them. The problem is these waters can leave a person with an STI or STD while they’re looking for the right one. Regardless of how many people you’re having sex with, you should get your blood tested on a regular basis by your primary care doctor. That way, if you do have an infection or disease, you can treat it early on before it gets worse. Furthermore, you can prevent yourself from transmitting this to your future partners.
Now the big question is, how often should you get an STI/STD check? Well, the answer depends on how many people you’re having sex with at the moment. For example, if you just have unprotected sex with one partner whom you know well or protected sex with multiple partners, then you should at least get an STI/STD check once per year. This is to ensure that you didn’t catch anything despite feeling safe about the sex you’ve been having. Perhaps a condom broke or your partner cheated on you with someone else who has an STD and now they have one. If you had sex with them after that, they could have easily passed it on to you.
On the other hand, if you’re having unprotected sex with multiple partners, then you should get an STI/STD check done the very next day after you’ve had the unprotected sex. It doesn’t even matter if you know these partners or not. If you’ve been engaging in casual sex with people, then chances are they’re doing the same thing with other people as well. There is no telling who does or who doesn’t have STIs or STDs between the whole lot of them.
Remember that STIs and STDs are two different things. An STI may result an STD if it is not treated early enough. That is why it is crucial that you get tested after having unprotected sex with new people because if you contracted an STI, then you could get it cleared up quickly before it becomes an STD. You can get rid of STIs but you cannot get rid of STDs. Therefore, get the check-up done as recommended.
HIV is a sexually transmitted disease which attacks the immune system of the body and makes it weaker. There is no cure for the disease but there are drugs that can slow it down before it becomes AIDS. Unfortunately, the majority of people who have contracted HIV cannot afford these expensive treatments. With over 200,000 people in the United States contracting HIV each year, this is certainly not good news for them. But Americans are not alone with this growing rate of HIV infection. It is estimated that over 35 million people in the world are currently living with HIV and that over 4 million more people worldwide get infected with HIV each year.
Statistics show that the age group which is the most susceptible to getting HIV are people between 19 and 45 years old. This is also the most sexually active age group which explains why they are contracting HIV in the first place. Although the number of Americans being infected with HIV each year increases, the rate of HIV infection in many African countries is even more rapid.
Despite over 35 million people in the world having HIV, 24.5 million of those people reside in the Sub-Saharan region of Africa. This means that 6.1% of all African adults in this region are carrying HIV. But as you go further south to the most southern African countries like South Africa, you will see HIV infections even more widespread. Roughly 5.5 million people in South Africa have HIV.
In the Caribbean region of the world, you have the 2nd highest rate of HIV infection out of any other region with 1.6% of adults there having HIV. And since these regions are mostly made up of poor countries, people cannot afford the treatments which slow down the damage it does to the immune system. As a result, many of these people develop AIDS and then die soon after.
In the United States, the education on HIV/AIDS and safe sex start at a very early age for Americans. However, many still neglect to take safe sex precautions when engaging in sex with someone they’re dating, especially if it’s someone they don’t know that well. Your partner is legally obligated to tell you if they have HIV before engaging in sex with you (assuming they know they have it). But you can’t always depend on them to do that so you must protect yourself as much as possible. Otherwise, in the future, you’ll have to find dates on HIV dating websites because all your other dating options will be limited.