It is a difficult conversation to start, no doubt. But it is extremely essential, for the safety of both of you. Asking your partner to go get tested can lead to emotions and misunderstanding. In fact, it will certainly lead to a misunderstanding and you will have to explain yourself for a while. It is no easy task but should not be assumed or avoided. The question might hurt feelings. In most cases, your partner will think you don’t trust them like they carelessly sleep around. If you are going to ask your partner, which you should, be prepared to handle such.
Nevertheless, you can find a smoother way of making the request. First, you should make sure you are all going to get tested; he/she should not feel it is an accusation. You have to find a way to explain that it is for the benefit of everyone. There are no definite words that 'should' be used to make the request. Just make sure it comes out smoothly and you are not misunderstood. This is important because is your partner does not understand the reasons, you will not get tested, which should not be an option especially if you are to engage in sex.
Why it is important to get tested
It is a common belief that sexually transmitted diseases can only be found when sleeping around or ‘dirty living. While the inception and discovery of the diseases were on this basis and this statement was true, it does not apply now. You may want to look at it as a far and strange disease that cannot be near you or your partner because of your lifestyles. You should consider that in as much as sexual intercourse is the primary transmission mode, STIs can also be transmitted through other forms; body contact and sharing of unsterilized equipment with an infected person.
The reality is STIs are much more common than you might imagine. Herpes, for instance, exists for years in a dormant state. You might have contracted the disease several years ago and you do not know same as your partner. Body contact, particularly sexual intercourse, guarantees transmission from one person to another. Testing is a safety measure that should not be datable in your mind. Take the lead and request your partner to go for a test, both of you!
It is not easy to make the request because of possible misunderstandings that can actually ruin your relationship, permanently. Find a way of making the request and demonstrate why it is important for both of you. STIs are deadly diseases that should be avoided at all cost, if you have it, it is okay because you can follow treatment guidelines but do not contract it because of assumptions and negligence. STIs not only damage the human body but the mind, you might not want to experience that.
Where to start
What applied to me ay not apply to you. People differ in personality and perception of various issues in society. By the time you are sexually relating with your partner, you must be acquainted with your partner’s personality and temperaments. How to break news and how people react and respond to unpleasant statements is important in a relationship. Nevertheless, there are general guidelines and tips you can consider and apply to ensure you achieve the goal of testing for herpes.
To begin such a conversation, you can disclose to your partner of the last time you were tested with STI and ask the same of them. CDC recommends that partners should get tested for STIs at least once every year. This is applicable to all Americans. This helps you to establish when they last had a test, if they ever had, and if it is necessary to test for herpes. You might be surprised that your partner was on a test the previous week, and because it is a delicate issue to discuss, she did not bring it up.
This lays a basis for further discussion and decisions on the same. The two of you have to be open to discussions to succeed in such discussions. Remember, some STIs go up to six months before showing any symptoms.