I have not dated much since my divorce from the man that lied to me by omission and gave me HSV2 seven years ago. I have not wanted to deal with telling anyone I have it or getting hurt more so I just lived life alone. I'd been hurt enough. But this man recently was very persistent. I told him NO several times when he asked me out, but then I finally gave in. We got along great and I really liked him and dreaded having 'the conversation'. BUt i knew it was something I had to do; either he can accept me as I am or he's not the right person for me.
I refused to do anything intimate with him until I told him, and just told him "i wanted to take things slow' as an excuse until i worked up the nerve to tell him about my HSV2. Plus i wanted to be sure he really got to know me before I told him so he could weigh the risks vs. the benefits.SO I finally told him, and he really wasn't phased. He didn't care at all, can you imagine?? HE said he was IN LOVE with me, and if it wasn't something that would kill him, that he'd deal with it and didn't care.
And since then we haven't talked about it or looked back. I told him if he ever has any questions to please tell me, but he hasn't said anything since, and that was 3 months ago. I don't have many breakouts and am on daily Valtrex (trying NOT to infect him), and he won't even use condoms. Says he just loves me and doesn't care. And he was happy to finally figure out why I kept saying NO to dating him at the beginning.
I never thought someone would take it so well. So my advice would be to REALLY let someone get to know you first and fall in LOVE with you. Wait a little while until you have 'the conversation'. Tell them you want to take it slow. They need to know the real YOU and be able to decide if you are worth the risk or not. If they reject you, then they weren't the one for you and were just looking for sex. IT's actually a really good 'test' if you want to think about this in a good way. WHen you tell them, just be very matter of fact. Don't CRY or make it overly negative. "Yea it sucks, but it happened to me and it's really not that big of a deal" and just give the facts. I even printed an article for him to read.
I think I found the one,,, good luck to you all.
Advice to other members:
Don't be like me and hide away, get out there, and do it right. Don't ever be intimate unless you've had the talk with someone. And as i mentioned, date quite a while until you do have the talk, then you'll both know for sure. If it can happen for me, it can happen for you. And if someone stays with you after telling them you have HSV2 and they don't have it, then by God you know you have someone that really loves you for YOU. :)